We get asked a lot if we have any tips or tricks on how to help someone improve their approach to dating using the Enneagram. While many things are universal, each type has some traps they tend to fall into when they’re on a date. Here are a few common type 7 traps.
1. Being here, but not here
Sevens are often scattered energetically: speaking about multiple things at once, talking before they’ve heard what they other person just said, and even avoiding eye contact.
Tip: Be more present. Resist the urge to regale your date with stories and stimulation. Try seeing the purpose of your date as connecting with the other person emotionally (not just playfully or intellectually).
2. Holding into the spotlight
It’s no secret that most Sevens like being the center of attention. This can excite some people and wear away on others.
Tip: Lean into your curiosity about your date. Even introverts want to feel seen and heard some of the time. Instead of running with the conversation baton, give your date the time and space to speak up so you can deepen your mutual connection.
3. Emotional avoidance
Others can become frustrated when Sevens avoid admitting any negative emotions, don’t communicate explicitly (ex., ghosting), or avoid committing to exact plans.
Tip: Voice your needs. You can be confusing to people who like direct communication and predictability. Explain to your date how you operate, so they can adjust to give you the freedom and communication style that you need.
With their intellect and positive energy, Sevens often already possess many of the qualities people look for in a partner. Using these three tips, Sevens can bring their best selves to the table, making them even more irresistible to the right person.