We get asked a lot if we have any tips or tricks on how to help someone improve their approach to dating using the Enneagram. While many things are universal, each type has some traps they tend to fall into when they’re on a date. Here are a few common type 2 traps.
1. Being overly other-focused
Others tend to love your ability to make them feel seen, heard, and appreciated. But withholding your own feelings and opinions can create a large connection gap between you and your date.
Tip: Share about yourself—guilt-free. When your date asks you a question, resist the temptation to answer it and quickly turn the attention back to them. Take the stage; this is *your* chance to be appreciated. By opening up, you're giving your date the opportunity to connect with you.
2. Idealizing the other person
Twos can fall hard and fast, seeing what they’d like to see rather than what’s really there.
Tip: Give it time. Excitement is glorious, but wait until you’ve seen the person multiple times until you start making bold claims; otherwise you may set yourself up for disappointment. You may even consider dating a few people at once to avoid feeling over-invested early on.
3. Relying on the other person for happiness
Twos are susceptible to thinking that romance will complete them, causing them to minimize their own individual development.
Tip: Stay focused on you as you date. Focusing on yourself is a win-win: you’ll feel good even when you’re single, and you’ll be more attractive to others. Find personal projects & hobbies you love, stay connected to friends/family, and take care of your physical health.
With their compassion and generosity, Twos often already possess many of the key qualities people look for in a long-term partner. Using these three tips, Twos can bring their best selves to the table, making them even more irresistible to the right person.